Making the Decision

Choosing to move onto a different path trying to figure out what direction to go.I'm stuck in the middle of two good men that i know i love, and i really can see a future with the Both of them.

I love one because he was the first person that I ever loved, and the other I am starting to fall for more and more each day. My mind is telling me to go with the one that is showing more interest, to just move on and to ignore what my heart want's . It's a lot easier said then done, when it comes to actually trying to move on and forget it. I have no clue why I let my emotions get the best of me Sometimes I try to control them as much as possible but sometimes I can't.

It feels like I am never going to be able move on or let go of what my heart is speaking to me , because my heart is telling me different things sometimes. It's like my whole body is telling me to choose what my heart and body want me to do and that is go for my first love. But then in my mind it says something totally different I don't want to hurt either one of them they deserve a whole lot more and deserve to be happy, instead of dealing with my indecisiveness.

I think it is time for me to start getting myself together and take a break to think about what is going on and what to do. I know I must sound selfish, maybe I am and I am sorry for that but I am starting to want to just disappear or run away. But then that would be leaving them wondering what happened and that's not fair but I can't continue to hurt both of them and myself in the process it's not right.

So the choice I have to make is to choose neither I will always regret this choice but I can't expect them to wait any longer then they have. Even though it breaks me to do this I know it will all work out in the end.